Cancer · Life

Today’s the Day


So, it’s 6:15am on the morning of my surgery. I am in hospital and the nurse had just woken me up instructing me that I have another 2 pre-op drinks to have and that she’s taking my jug of water away. As of midnight I was ‘nil by mouth’-can’t eat anything, from 6am I can’t even have sips of water-nadder! So I’ve hidden my caramel shortcake away until after the op and will keep it as a reward!! The pre-op drinks aren’t as bad as I thought they were going to be. Basically they taste like flat lemonade and are 100% carbohydrate to keep your energy levels up before and throughout theatre, aiming to enhance your recovery?! I’m currently 3rd on the theatre list which means I should be going down mid afternoon I should think? I’m going to be bloody starving!! When the food trolley comes round at lunch time it’s going to be torture!

One thing that did happen last night which a) I wasn’t expecting and b) wasn’t the nicest is that pre surgery you have to have and enema. I knew I was going to have it but thought it would be the morning of surgery, not the night before. Now without giving out too much information it’s basically liquid which is squirted up your bum to clear out your bowels! Being a nurse I had administered these to patients hundreds of times, but I didn’t really like the thought of being on the other side, being the patient! However, it was absolutely fine. Over in less that a minute and  nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. I have some lovely nurse friends who gave a little bag full bits to go into hospital with. I’m there was bubbles, a colouring book and pencils and, knowing I was having an enema,they kindly gave me some moist toilet tissue and air freshener-which came in handy!

I slept quite well considering. I’m on a ward with 6 other women, I am the youngest by far. An elderly lady next to me asked me what I’m in for, when I answered ‘a hysterectomy’ she looked at me with the ‘oh that’s awful, you’re way too young’ face. I’m used to it now! If you’re reading this and have any sort of hospital admission coming up, one thing I will recommend is that you buy ear plugs. Wards can get noisy, doctors and nurses going back and forth, but if you have ear plugs you’re sorted 👌🏻

How am I feeling? At the moment of writing this I feel ok?! I cried leaving my children and husband yesterday but since being admitted I’ve been trying to occupy myself by reading my book or watching videos on YouTube. But when I stop and try and take in what is going to happen today, I am filled with worry/anxiety and to be quite honest I’m shitting myself. I have complete faith in my surgeon and know everything will be fine, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking about the ‘what if’s?’. What if they can’t do the key hole procedure and need to perform open procedure instead? What if they tear my bladder? Etc etc. Which I’m telling myself is completely normal when you’re about to embark on serious abdominal surgery. 

The main thing is that I am having this surgery today and becoming a hytersista so that I don’t get cervical cancer again. I am having it so that I get to watch my children grow up, so the day to day anxiety that I suffer due to the thought of recurrence is hugely reduced. I know I am going to be in a lot of pain, and it’s going to be restricting for a few months but in my opinion it’s short term pain, for long term gain. And on the plus side-no more periods!!!! 

I’ll try and update as soon as I can post surgery to document how everything went and how I’m feeling. If you’re reading this and you’re going through a similar thing, I hope you can relate and it in some way helps you?

Next time you hear from me I’ll be a cervix, womb and two Fallopian tubes lighter!! I will be a HYSTERSISTA!! (I still reckon that sounds like some kind of superhero!!!) wish me luck!!

Caz xx

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